STRESS

I have no words to describe how distress I am about the things I have to do this week and what I've been facing.
Coincidentally, I'm writing my oral test about the cause of stress among teenagers. So far, I've only been able to complete the part where school is the biggest distress in a student's life. But I have no clue how to elaborate on social problems being the cause of stress, because I virtually don't have a social life. I would continue on about family problems being one of the cause of stress but recently, I haven't had much of a conflict with them.
Though, I do have a little problem with my boyfriend. At some point, he's a big sweetheart with a bad temper but other times, he's like a playboy asshole. He has this weird sudden change in mood and personality. It really makes me uncomfortably whenever he decides to call. I sometimes stress myself about it but I try hard not to.
These are not my only problems. I have many other school related problems that I wouldn't want to mention.

No Sleep

In my one week absence, I have piles of laundry to "organize" and piles of Homework from 6 different subjects. Not to mention my lack of energy from the lack of sleep and overtime activities. For some reason, I can't stay awake during the day but I wouldn't take a nap. Since my arrival here I've been sleeping at midnight or past midnight and sleeping for only 3 to 5 hours which isn't enough for me to get rid of these eye bags under my eyes.
I get so frustrated with everything. I almost wanted to quit school because of the shitty teachers and the excessive homework.

PKBM (U) camping in Kelantan

Exhaustion, disorientation and soreness runs my entire body 24 hrs after my arrival here from Kelantan. The work and acivities during camping was somewhat brutal and tiring but exhilarating and - unexpectedly - enjoyable, despite the punishments doing squats and jumps and push ups. I kind of blame one of the officers who was a racist and an excessive, optimist with his religion. Inconsiderate ass.
The fun activities that enjoyed and endured were the flying fox, jalan lasak, shooting and a trip to the Gong Kedak Air Base. My favorite was going shooting. It was adrenalin pumping and terrifying. Jalan lasak was a bit tiring for me since I had sores, cramps and disturbed emotions during the event. I mean, I know I'm slow but stop cursing and ordering me around because in the end, you guys were the one's left behind and had to ride in the ambulance. Not me.
In the case of social events, I wasn't very social with them during the time for socializing. Though, I enjoyed the company of a few guys from Penang who were nice to me. I liked talking to one of them called Mohd Azraf. He looked like a smoker and a drug addict but he's actually a sweetheart. On our last day there, they all said goodbye to me as if I was a celebrity. I was upset that I didn't know most of their names while they knew mine. It makes me fluttery thinking that I have a "fan club".
All in all, the whole trip made me rethink about PLKN and made a little bit more confident and endurant.

Petty Excitement

Today wasn't much of an excitement. Just two more days until this exam blows. The only "excitement" I got was a really long look at Harrison. The moment blew my mind, burst my heart and melted my soul.
I saw him while I was sitting at the back during perhimpunan and the Lower Form 6 were right outside doing some sort of landscaping work. I saw him more clearly when he sat right outside the dewan right next to the place where I sat in the dewan. I was all fluttery and giggly ^.^ I noticed he's not as chubby as the last time I saw him, but more...husky. Gosh! He was wearing that shirt he wanted to give me. I wish I'd took it.
As much as I want him to notice me, I keep hiding away from him.

exam...ALMOST OVER!!!!

At last!! Only three more days until the end of the Semester exam and three days until the start of two weeks school break. The suffering of two weeks of exam will end. But, honestly, it feels like it had only been a weekend. I seriously don't remember taking any of those tests and I don't really feel like studying for the next upcoming tests. Anyway, I don't have much planned for the school break but Arine wants to hang out back in Kuching. I'm thinking of going roller skating. But also a movie... Hmm, who should I bring? Don't know yet. Then again, I don't have a lot of money left. Suddenly, everything sucks.
OMG...! I haven't seen Arine since February. I feel all jittery and anxious now.

Party Invasion

At school today, we had a Teacher's Day event. As always, everyone including the sesi petang join us in the morning. Then, there were some boring crapspeeches that I skipped and some performances by a Form 6 class and this group of "yuppies". The same ones that I had mentioned in Casual Yuppies of Gapor. Ugh! I feel so menyampah watching those yuppies and their stage act. I mean, they upstage every other people with their incompetence in performance. If they need a gig, might as well do it somewhere else. In school, their stage act has nothing to do with Teacher's Day.
Anyway, my class did this so-called "feast". It was such a let down 'cuz the whole thing didn't live up to the standards of a Form 4 class. Just then, the yuppies invaded our class. Though I hate despise them, they put up a fucking awesome party craze. Our class was the loudest 'cuz they turned up the amp they brought in. I can't describe how wild and crazy it was. I'd post the videos I took earlier but there was no sound. So shitty...

a glimpse of you

I couldn't believe Harrison was at school earlier. Still couldn't believe he was there for the Form 6. Still couldn't believe I saw him there. But... I didn't feel...anything. Still, it felt nice to "unintentionally" touch his cheek to get him to notice me in front of him. Hehe~ he was surprised and his cheeks were soft and squishy. He looked cute; like a chubby teddy.
I wish...I could touch his cheek one more time, caressing it 'till I was satisfied.

Semester Exams

Up until now, exams sucks... English II and BM II paper aren't what I had expected. I thought I had to write a 300 word essay or something like the formats before. Instead, they were structural questions I'm not used to. I mean, my suck-ish teachers only "taught" literature. Which is super-BORING!!! I couldn't even finish answering the shitty paper.
Speaking of shit, my Chemistry II paper literally smelled like shit. At least the questions wasn't full of shit. Just headaches... Still, I was able to answer the whole thing (except for one question).

Cramps and Camp

I just came back from camping at school. As usual I got cramps from the activities held like senaman pagi, kawad kaki and jalan laju. I couldn't feel the cramps when my body's relaxed but it's really painful when I stretch my muscles.
Still, camping at school was fun =) HEHE =3 especially when Harrison came >_< he looked so CHUBBY and CUTE!!!!!!!! I couldn't stop myself from looking at him!! He's just so adorable like a giant, huggable, fluffy teddy bear!! SO GERAM right now! I really, really, REALLY want to hug him!
So sayang I didn't bring my camera ='( If I did, I would've posted pictures on this blog using pages. So soi !

Drama Epic Fail !

I like putting make-up on people!! Even though I don't use make-up on myself..o.0 My best work was Leon's lion make up; he looked adorable =3 then, there was Charlotte's make- up; all glittery and metallic like a fairy-godmother ;P hehe..
However, make-up won't win us first place or best actor/actress or best script. And yet again, SMK Batu Lintang - as always for the past 5 years - won every category. So damn I didn't watch their performance. I really wanted to see how they did it.
The judge's comment on our play was that the whole thing was sort of copyrighted...and it was wrong for us to follow everything on it, even if it was a "sequel". Our performance was okay...but the actors still can't keep their backside away from the audience. Also, our props were too many and they were a little poorly done.
That's all I can say. AND MY MAKE-UP ARE GOOD!!! YEA..

Caking up some faces

Tomorrow I'll be dolling up some actors for the drama. The problem is I don't have the make-up that I'll need. Luckily, tomorrow is just rehearsal on stage. On Wednesday is the real thing!
I have the whole idea on how the make up should be. The characters; Dorothy, Zeke, Hickory, Glinda and Elpahaba would need some elaborate and bright make up which will enable the audience to see their facial expressions. It's gonna be explosive!
Ugh, I'm getting headaches; like the time I'm supposed to direct. I think I'm not the type to handle pressure so well. My mental and physical state are always failing.

Melodramatic Drama

I really hate those drama teachers. They said I was too "bossy" when I was supposed to be the stage manager/director. They even said "You were quiet bossy yesterday and today, you just proved to us that you are much worse than yesterday" and that was the day after they put me as stage manager/director. Can you believe that?!?!
What a fucking bitch!! I mean, c'mon a stage manager is supposed to tell people what to do. What did she expect? What? She wants me to baby talk to them????
Words can't really express how angry and frustrated I was at her. I got a bad headache, flu and fever because of her!!!

~Return to Oz~

A script for the drama has been chosen  and I am so excited and pumped up! Especially for the costume designs and make-up!!

Return to Oz is Patrick's - my class monitor - version of "The Wizard of Oz" mixed with the Broadway musical "Wicked". Omygosh..the costume and make-up is going to be wicked cool. I can't believe being in the stage crew is going to be super exciting!!

Loss of Words

The debate competition was this morning and our first opponents were from SMK Batu Lintang. I can say we put up a good fight against them even though I was disappointed by our school's 2nd and 3rd speaker. The points that they presented on 'Reality shows gives bad influence to society' were not like we planned. They sort of sucked at it. But I don't blame on one of them since he was stuttering and was always nervous. That is why SMK Batu Lintang won this round.
They were so cool and confident and they had a really strong point opposing the motion. What I found hilarious was the third speaker, Abel Lim. Gosh, he talked with - as Stephanie said - great "poise", a fake British accent and a pondan-ish tone. But he was REALLY good. I don't think I could measure up to him even though he said we were really good.
Sure gonna be hard facing him when we go for the Drama competition. I heard he was voted best actor for 3 years and he had a great voice for singing. Gonna be really tough to beat.

Tomorrow Debatin'

Tomorrow's the "big" Debate Competition at SMK Siburan. Who am I kidding?!?!? The Swinburne University Debate Tournament is BIGGER than this sh*t. Dah la jadi 2nd speaker, maka the debate in SMK Siburan I'm just the reserve and I'm already freaking out! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Good grief, Swinburne gave us 10 themes to study before they tell us what to debate about. Fak U!!!
Sometimes I think the essay competitions, debate tournaments and speech writing contests are just shortcuts for adults to solve whatever problem they have. Ugh..f*ck the government and higher authorities.
Wish me luck inhabitants of Earth.

Double Betrayal

It's a title of my short play that I'm writing right now. Without realising it, the play is actually like a double betrayal I got from Harrison. The so-called "betrayal" I got from him is actually our double break-up.
It's about a girl who is in a deep relationship with this charming guy and they are so in love with each other, or so the girl thought. After a while, the girl found out the guy has been cheating on her this whole time and intends to kill him. Then, the guy was murdered by the girl.
Soon after, the guy's friend who has a crush on the girl asks her to be his girlfriend and the girl accepted. The two were like soul mates. Until, he found she killed his best friend.
At the end of the play, the second guy invites the girl to a private date at a park during the night. The two danced for a while and when she spun herself back into his arms, he stabs her in her stomach.
The End (?)

Debate and Drama

Debate and drama; two things that are going in my after school activity. Debate; my teacher chose me for both the Inter-school and Swinburne competition. Drama, on the other hand, was voluntary since it wasn't announced openly to the entire sesi pagi. Not to mention my English essay assignment given to me by my Form 2 English teacher to publish in the school magazine. Good gosh, I just remembered I had my Chemistry and Moral assignments I hadn't started.
Urgh, everything is making me bonkers! Everything is everywhere!
Excessive school-related work and activities should be classified as mental and psychological abuse. I can see why the world is full if shitty and crappy people in the world; they're all stressed by other people in their past who were stressed.
My life is really full of debate (arguments) and drama.

Casual Yuppies of Gapor

This is how I define yuppies: they are rich, snobbish and pretentious hypocrites mainly among girls with high-class parents.
I can say I've describe several of them in school even though they're not in power suits, but I'm sure they're parents are and someday they would, too. Ugh, I can't say how much I loathe these people. They are just so...urgh! They don't talk to anyone unless they have to show charity to the lower-class and not the 'In' crowd people.
Some days I ask myself, Why did I ever want to be part of those desperate status-seekers.
I won't say names but these guys exists in groups. Mostly, you can find them in my school's Interact Club, Pathfinder Club, Handball Team, LEO Club and St. John Ambulance unit. These yuppies are mostly Chinese - rich or poor, pretty or ugly - and those who can speak Chinese - rich status-seekers.

It's a Leap Year!

While I was doing my chores, I just remembered that this year was a leap year. I couldn't believe that I forgot about it! I guess it's because everyone is too busy worrying about the end of the world. Well, not me!
I've actually planned quite a lot for this year but since every one of those involves my relationship, I'll just have to cancel it.
Haiya...I actually wanted to plan something special for Valentine's Day since it would've been me and Harrison's first Valentine's Day. Also, something more special on the 6th of May because it would've been our 1st Anniversary. I might even have asked him to marry me =P since a leap year is the only year when women can propose to men. Well, it looks like two plans going down the drain.
Hmm, I've got new plans, anyway. I wanna learn all there is while I'm in the school's basketball team, write an article or do something cool in Journalism club and train the fuck off the new members in PKBM (not really, I'm too nice).
I'm a SUPERWOMAN!!

Lot's o Homework

My homework is piling up like a mountain.
I have at least 8 exercises in Maths or Add Maths, 2 in English, 2 in Chemistry, 3 in Moral and 1 in Physics. Ugh, my Maths and Add Maths are the only homework that I managed to finish up while the rest I keep them collecting dust at one corner of my desk. Why can there be less homework or at least, more time to do it? You can't expect someone to finish up 8 Maths exercises in 1 night.
Argh! 4 Beta sucks!!! Well, some of the teachers, anyway.
A word of advice, never go to the 1st or 2nd best class in school if you're a smart but lazy person.