Little Ring

<---My favourite earring and finger ring.









These are 2 of 4 things I can't sleep without. Both were given by Harrison.
I really can't sleep right or dream when I don't use them. I've never taken the earring off since I've had them and I'm just dying to wear my ring but my ring only fits on my ring finger.
Sometimes I think these 2 things have magic powers or dream powers. They're just so...calming.

Working Sister

I still couldn't believe it; my sister is working, as a waitress.
I never thought my sister would work during her teenager years. Especially as a coffee shop waitress since she already told me she won't work as a lowly waitress. She said she's been trained to serve the YB and all that crap and she won't start out at the bottom.
Such a hypocrite.. She only accepted the job 'cos her friend offered it and her BFF wants to work with her. (excuses)
Good luck, sis

It's a Leap Year!

While I was doing my chores, I just remembered that this year was a leap year. I couldn't believe that I forgot about it! I guess it's because everyone is too busy worrying about the end of the world. Well, not me!
I've actually planned quite a lot for this year but since every one of those involves my relationship, I'll just have to cancel it.
Haiya...I actually wanted to plan something special for Valentine's Day since it would've been me and Harrison's first Valentine's Day. Also, something more special on the 6th of May because it would've been our 1st Anniversary. I might even have asked him to marry me =P since a leap year is the only year when women can propose to men. Well, it looks like two plans going down the drain.
Hmm, I've got new plans, anyway. I wanna learn all there is while I'm in the school's basketball team, write an article or do something cool in Journalism club and train the fuck off the new members in PKBM (not really, I'm too nice).
I'm a SUPERWOMAN!!

Post-Breakup

For the past 4 Days, I've been feeling so down and depressed and lonesome. I even cried from time to time. I just feel so hurt that I've lost him.
I thought about begging and pleading to him so he would feel some pity for me and take me back. But the situation just turned for the worse. He rejected me again!
And so I went online to find some advice on how to get him back. The advice was really obvious because all of it was what I was telling myself before I begged and pleaded to him. According to the article, the first step is to be strong and confident. The second would be to limit contact because he would feel harassed. Lastly, find new and fun things to focus on and LIVE a little. Note: do not act on instinct because this will be  the time when our instincts are at their weakest.
I should've listened to myself in the first place. It would've been so much easier that way. Now with the realisation from the article, I am going to have some of my own girly time fun.
Later haters! ;)

Right now, I wish...

• I knew what part of me to change for the better.
• I wasn't so mean and hot-headed.
• he would talk to me.
• I could understand his feelings.
• I could see him, again.
• I could tell him it was wrong for me to take him for granted.
• he would love me, again.
• he would forgive me.
• he was right beside me.

Lot's o Homework

My homework is piling up like a mountain.
I have at least 8 exercises in Maths or Add Maths, 2 in English, 2 in Chemistry, 3 in Moral and 1 in Physics. Ugh, my Maths and Add Maths are the only homework that I managed to finish up while the rest I keep them collecting dust at one corner of my desk. Why can there be less homework or at least, more time to do it? You can't expect someone to finish up 8 Maths exercises in 1 night.
Argh! 4 Beta sucks!!! Well, some of the teachers, anyway.
A word of advice, never go to the 1st or 2nd best class in school if you're a smart but lazy person.

Broken

Just when I thought that I've lost the most closest people in my life, I have lost him, too.
At school, without my BFF's, I feel lost and lonely but still fine.  However, when I've lost him, I feel confused and lost and lonesome and depressed.
It hurts when you lose someone that you have always relied on and loved more than any other in the world, especially when they're your first love. I will miss him always and forever, because I believe that I still love him.
Conclusion, I love him forever and always like I've always promised him. And forever will I try to heal the wound in my heart.

Form 4 sucks!!!(eggs)

OMFG!!! It's only my first day as a Science stream student and I'm already sick of it! I swear, I felt like I want to blow my brains out!
I totally did reconsider this whole thing and thought, maybe I could escape all this shit by going to SMV Matang. Now, I feel so bad inside and I don't know why.
AAARRGHH!!! I may be smart but it doesn't mean I'll automatically go full speed on studies. I'm actually really lazy; inactive in studies and other physical stuff.
Ugh..I hate Additional Maths and Physics. I hate them 'cos Add. Maths is so hard to understand and I have a fucking gozilla woman as my Physics teacher. I swear, I would rather have my mom teach me Physics in class than Mdm. Angie.
GOSH!!! It's friggin' hard!!!

Black Veil Brides - Coffin

Not ~GONE~

I did a lot of thinking and consideration about my transfer to SMV Matang. As it turns out, I'm not going but staying right here in Gapor. Although, I will have to transfer to Batu Lintang if education here sucks. Y'know, having a calm talk with my mom and dad about this whole thing has cleared my visual of thinking.
I REALLY want to take pure science but what I want to do with my life is to design clothes. I've actually already decided to go to Matang but when my mom said she'll consider sending me to her friend for sewing lessons, I made my mind up straight away. Besides, I can do more "skill sharpening" here at home. Learn music, arts and science.
It's sort of my thing to learn and get interested into a lot of things. Well, my name means universal.

school dilemma

I've had friend dilemmas and relationship dilemmas and some family dilemmas but this would be a first for school dilemmas. Though some might think that I'm having trouble with studies and stuff like that but, I'm not.
I'm actually still in the process of deciding which school to go to. It feels like I'm choosing a goddamn college. But, decisions are hard when you're young and just starting something new, like me.You have to prioritise something so you could have a better - or glamorous - life to live.
However, I prioritise FUN in choosing my subject and environment even when it's not the normal definition of fun. To me, I find Maths and Science is fun to do and to learn but it's not the kind of field of career that I want. I want something carefree, creative and not stressful. Something in the field of arts is just fine.
Maybe I should stay, but what if I regret not learning fashion? What if I don't have the experience to achieve fashion when I further my studies? What if?

!!NEW!! school

This news isn't new. I've mentioned this twice so far but only in suggestion. This time I'm totally going to SMV Matang to learn FASHION. I don't find it fun to do any more but it's the only thing I see myself doing. I find Maths and Science fun, however, they're fun as a hobby.
Seeing that I'll be in Matang I will also be living in a hostel. Matang is too far away from BDC for me to go to and from school like I do in Gapor. I actually didn't want to go 'cos I won't be staying in my own home, my safe place. But I thought about it and prayed to God, I became calm and decided I should go for this fashion thing. Even Harrison said I should go since it's for my future, and maybe someday OUR future.
It's really funny when I saw the list of fashion students; I found three guys who got accepted. AND they were all Malay guys. Omfg...that is so obvious for guys in this race to be so bold and take up fashion. I admire their boldness unlike other guys from other races. So shy and so arrogant; and I mean Lorenzo. He said he didn't want to go to Matang 'cos he's so confident that he'll be able to learn fashion in Milan or New York. News flash: where are you gonna get that kind of money?
Ugh.. Mt advice to rising fashionistas: go to vocational and work your way up to the top.