What I did from a week ago until today

Its not much but kind of interesting - for me, of course!

Every weekday in November until 3rd Dec I practised for my Grade 3 practical piano exam in the school 'cos I don't own a piano. I wouldn't say it was exhausting but frustrating every time I couldn't hit the right note or get out the right expression and playing the same dumb pieces over and over and OVER. During practise just before I went into the examination room, I played just smoothly but I don't know from what force in hell that made me slip and miss a few notes. After that, I was like 'Whatever. I'll fail if I'll fail'. Hopefully, I didn't fail.

On the 29th Nov, I went to see Arine since she came back to Kuching from Sarikei. I was glad I could meet her after these past months but my mood went down when rain poured while I walked to where we were meeting and my mood plummeted when she brought her younger sister whom she detests so much. Since the place we met at was SUPER boring, we decided to go to OneJaya but it rained, again. Instead, I had the pleasure of entering her house and room for the first time in 3 years we've been friends. Like another friend's house I've been to, its a darker contrast to my house; a mess. Interior designs set aside, we talked and gossiped in her room about "unholy" things which revealed to me the Arine I've never known before; an Arine version of Amy.

30th Dec, that day was the ultimate mood wrecker. The activities: watched Breaking Dawn part 2, had a late lunch/early dinner, window shopping. Friends involved: unmentionable. How it went: horrible. Why?: Charlotte ignored me the whole time even though she was the one who invited me to watch a movie, Arine didn't watch it with me just because she wants to hang around with Lorenzo looking for the latest Lady Gaga perfume that won't be out for 6 months. I hate what they did to me; ignoring me like that. I mean, don't they know any manners? What they did was SO inexcusable and if I were my dad, I would've burst out and told how volcanic mad I was. But I'm not my dad so I had to suck it up. I felt like I wanted to scream 'Don't bother inviting me if you're just going to ignore me later' and 'Say no if you don't want to watch it with me, not invite someone else over so you could avoid it' at the two of them. I just can't believe they're so immature and ill-mannered. Until today, I still feel like I want to blow up when I think back about it. But I can't because they're my "best friends".

To clear out my angst, I indulged in romance novels. One was Jane Eyre which is awesome to the max - minus the difficulty in understanding the big words they used. The other book was Vampire Kisses: The Beginning containing the first three books of the series. I admit that Vampire Kisses is nothing like The Twilight Saga or Vampire Diaries or Vampire Academy because it doesn't have that action-thriller touch but a fantasy, goth romantic, humorous and suspenseful feel. I mean, every time there was a super romantic scene I'd giggle and put the book away for a more special time and if there was a climax in the scene I'd resist reading the next part to prepare myself. To put it simply, its a goth teen's novel-version sitcom.

There, the stuff I did and the expressions I had while doing it. 

"Runaway Boyfriend" Dilemma

*It's not my boyfriend and this guy didn't really runaway.
~sigh~ I came to school yesterday morning anxiously waiting for a friend of mine to get some "relationship advice". I was so stupid I didn't consider her feelings at the time, I burst out my question to her. At that moment, I sensed some disturbance in her. Then, I saw tears in her eyes. I felt so insensitive and stupid as soon as I guessed what her problem was about.
As soon as she gathered her strength, she told me that her boyfriend "ran way". The appropriate situation would be "moved further away". But that's not it. She's fine with him moving further away to get a better job  but what she doesn't like is that he went further away without telling her and left his phone with his friends. It's bad enough that they live far apart, they only meet once a month and her mum despising him. He doesn't have to go away without telling or leaving her hanging on where their relationship stands. He doesn't even have to cut off any contact with her just so her mum wouldn't know anything.
I swear, guys are impossible to understand.

Early Birthday Gift

I'm actually blogging this at my school computer. I get to use the Internet early for finishing up early.
This morning I had a teddy bear given to me as my early birthday present since my birthday is during the school holiday. FYI, it's not from some romantic admirer. It's from Haizaitul. It's kinda nice that at least one person remembers my birthday. I usually don't get anything - not even last year.
=D She said the gift was doll that looked like me but it was a teddy bear dressed as a lady bug. Come to think of it, I like teddy bear and lady bugs.

Out Skating

Just went out roller skating with Arine, her sister Anna and Lorenzo. It wasn't A-W-E-S-O-M-E but enjoyable and exhilarating. I didn't have fun much skating around but tons of fun teaching them to skate. I love it. I looked like their older sister. The whole atmosphere made me feel alive and liberated. We laughed all they way each of us fell in attempt to skate and rolling out of control. The most fun was that warm feeling I had spending time with Arine. With her, I didn't feel lonesome anymore.

exam...ALMOST OVER!!!!

At last!! Only three more days until the end of the Semester exam and three days until the start of two weeks school break. The suffering of two weeks of exam will end. But, honestly, it feels like it had only been a weekend. I seriously don't remember taking any of those tests and I don't really feel like studying for the next upcoming tests. Anyway, I don't have much planned for the school break but Arine wants to hang out back in Kuching. I'm thinking of going roller skating. But also a movie... Hmm, who should I bring? Don't know yet. Then again, I don't have a lot of money left. Suddenly, everything sucks.
OMG...! I haven't seen Arine since February. I feel all jittery and anxious now.

Dear, ... How Are You?

Dear Arine,
Dear Natasha,
Dear Avie,
Dear Harrison,

How are all of you? I hope each of you are doing better than I am and are striving to achieve your long-term goal. I'd send this to all of you but I don't have your snail mail address.
I really miss each and everyone of you, truly. I miss having every one of you playing a part in my life to keep me balanced. Each and everyone of you are my inspiration and motivation in life. I thank you all for that. I couldn't have any better inspirations and motivators in my life. Thank you for being my super-awesome-amazing-funny best friends.
I could never find any better friends than all of you. Thank you. You are dearly missed.

Sincerely,

Emma

Movie and a Friend

Breaking Dawn was awesome! But I want to watch it again, only this time I'm going with Charlotte and her little sister. I need a girl time watching that movie. That way I'll focus more on the movie than the person I'm watching it with. Like the time I went with Harrison, I kept staring at him. Also, I didn't enjoy my last moments of the movie very well that time. I got upset when Harrison was making fun of the sad and scary part of the movie. He was being so insensitive that time. That is why I'm going with a friend so we could talk about the movie after we watch it.
Talk about being insensitive; Harrison was not sensitive about it at all. Just really sensitive when something upsets him in his own way.

BFF's Dilemma

Just yesterday, I found out Charlotte is going to break up with her boyfriend, Carl or Trevor (we don't know his real name). She says there's no use of being boyfriend and girlfriend if the can't see each other. They both agreed on it and decided to break up but the guy doesn't seem to be ready. So, now I'm not sure if they already are.
Y'know, that guy doesn't have deactivate his FB account. I mean, how else is she going to talk to him? The only number she got was his mum's number. I guess they could connect through a mutual friend like Nadiya but misunderstanding could happen. I really want them to get back together so I thought of inviting both of them to a barbecue party I'm going to,  just so they could spend some time together ad work things out.
The problem is, Carl -or Trevor- is in Singapore and Charlotte probably has no way of contacting him. That is so sad. I hope he gets some time off from working around Christmas so he could REALLY spend some time with her. That would so sweet and so awesome.

School's Out !!

I'm a day late but it's never too late. School is totally out! A month and a half of freedom!! I know I'm suppose to be excited but I'm totally not. I do need a break from all the studying, homework and tests but school is where I meet my friends and be away from my family. It's that safe place I go to when I have a bad night with my family. A place where not one image of them are present.
Well, I got a whole month and a half to be lazy and do nothing. Just wish I had the resources to do something, like friends and money. Friends; so I could have someone to do stuff with and money; to get whatever or wherever I need for the activity. Who knew school holidays would be boring. Whateves...

Missing Everyone

I'm gonna miss everyone. Especially the ones I was close to; Arine, Natasha and Avie. They're gonna be heading somewhere better for them. Some place worth the education they need. Well, things do turn out the way I predicted them. My friends all gone while I'm left to stay here. I never really did imagined myself as a famous and successful fashion designer. Though for everyone else, I imagined they would have the best time of their lives.
Seriously, these people were my whole world. I'd be nothing without them. It won't be easy finding "replacements" for them because I have never met anyone like them. I just wish we could reconnect again. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person who doesn't look back on something that was way back in the past.

Friend Dilemma II - Failing or Just Waiting

Comin' back to these two friends/strangers. It seems that this girl seriously tossed him like trash. Looks like she has no concern towards how he feels and if he's okay. I mean, he was sick because he was hurt emotionally, mentally and physically.When I told her'bout it she just responded as if it was some petty thing. This makes me feel so mad. What makes me furious is when she's gone back to her "groupies" that she didn't like. She complained all the time 'bout those guys the whole time she was with them but after he told her about how he feels, she turns a blind eye on us. Especially me! I'm really trying to help these two get back together as friends. It's kinda my fault they're like this. Now, I just wanna help. There's been a lot of friendship wrecks since I've been with them.
However, it's such a relief that he's getting stronger trying to forget her. Even when he knew she already has a boyfriend. My only advice to him now is just treat her like before. No need to try to apologise since she doesn't wanna listen, no need to depress since it's not healthy and no need to think about it since she doesn't have the littlest concern for him now. I don't want him to suffer her torment. My only advise to her is to just forget everything and be friends with him again. Don't be such a bitch la..sorry because I called you that but seriously, believe it!

Friend Dilemma I - Success in Progress

It seems there's been some progress between my girl and her online boy. Just earlier, she told that they commented on one of his status. It looked like a group conversation about hugging and cats. That was weird. However, it was so cute that when he said he would hug her if she was cold. Making it cheeky, he said if they were shirtless and hugging they'd feel warmer. OMGOSH!
Besides that, I think he really, REALLY likes her because he said about meeting her and taking her out for a date. Type of date: a walk in the park during the school holiday. It seemed so obvious that he wants to take her out since he asked when is the next school holiday. Boys are so like that. But I still think he's sweet since he's so nice and considerate about her. I mean, he treats her like no other guy has. Well, he's the first guy, besides her brother, to treat her in anyway that's so sweet.
I am so hoping they would turn out great. All my wishes to the happy "couple"=D

Friend Dilemma II

This case comes differently. A one week friendship turn awkward crush case between a sensible, good-natured guy and an almost-psycho-maniac, funny girl. Ironic, the guy likes the girl. Well, she's not so psycho; just laughs like crazy sometimes.
About a week ago, they became close after the guy wasn't friends with this other girl who he's always been close to. I really sensed some to-be-couple but turns out only the guy likes her. The girl, not so much. Her excuse, she doesn't feel right with her friend having a crush on her. So, I was wondering if she could explain how she's able to still be friends with her other guy friends who have a crushes on her. Now, the guy is mentally and emotionally hurt that he didn't went to school. All because she dropped him like trash. As if he was disposable.
I told him not to tell her his feelings but I couldn't stop anything. His mistake was that he texted her. Now, the situation comes to this; she's ignoring him and he's feeling moody and left out. He's trying to apologise to her and ask if they could be friends again but all she's doing is running from everything. I feel so disappointed and hurt. Why can't she just accept his apology and stop being such an ass to just for once take the situation seriously. Honestly, she's the one who's hurt his feelings.

Friend Dilemma I

Call it an online relationship between these two. Even though they're not really in a relationship but I can feel some cyber sparks between them.
My girl friend has been Facebook-ing with this high-class, rich dude online. I call him a modelling lawyer-doctor since he's part-time model, has finished medical studies and going for a degree in law. That's a lot for a guy who's only 18. Anyway, he's been nice to her and calls her wifey and stuff. I thought it was sweet. Especially when he always called her cute and nice. Even mentioned about meeting her if he could.
However, this piece of shit suddenly falls for another girl just because of her enormous, plastic boobs. Those things bounce like water balloons. Just as my friend and this guy were commenting, this bitch suddenly comes in and catches his eye. Then says he's in love with this bitch but likes my friend. Dude! What's with your mental state?! I can't believe this guy even has a wife list. Now, he's making crap about that balloon-boob bitch.
I feel so hurt that this guy drops my friend like garbage. If I ever had a chance to meet him, I'd beat the life outta him. I'm so pissed right now.

How to be/What makes A True Friend

 Question: How could a freak in a bottle get friends?
Answer: Internet.

My answer, school. Yes, this freak was sent to school t be unfreaked.Well, it didn't work 'cos I'm proud of being a freak just as my friends are proud of being a tomboy and a lilmonster.
Not to offend my friends but it's one of those freaky and weird people that I like to be friends with that makes me even more a freak! That's why I'm always closer to those freaks.
Just so you know, freak is a compliment and normal is an insult. Freak is unique, normal is boring.

Real friends are always true to you and you always wanna be true to 'em. Real friends are always there for you and your always there for them. Real friends want you and you want them. Real friends stand up for you and you stand up for them. Real friends are willing to help and you're willing to help them. Real friends don't expect anything in return and so do you. Also, real friends are who you miss most 'till you cry and vice versa.

Got Friends, Got...?

I am so frustrated! Sometimes stuck. This is all about some friends of mine, Jo and Tul. I'm not saying they're bad friends but are just so into themselves.
Ever since they were cast out of "the gang" they talk about the same thing over and over. Jo's against LAH and Tul's against FaBoy. These pairs used to be the best of friends until some certain people got in the way and a friend is not always a friend.
Jo and Tul has a lot to say about the pain and backstabbing they have felt. LAH tried to ruin Jo's relationships, told outrageous lies and bragged about stuff she doesn't have. FaBoy just have too many ego in his pants and is just too oblivious 'bout himself. I had to agree about it. I mean, it's all true and lot's of people would've said the same.
My role in all of this is nothing. I'm partly with "the gang" but full on with Jo and Tul. They just don't give much about me 'cos I totally have no connection about their problem.
I hate being different but that's what I do and what I am.