Cut Off and Ignored

Maybe it has been going on my whole life and I just didn't notice it before.
Thereare reasons why I don't talk.
1) Whatever that comes out of my mouth nothing good ever comes of it
2) The person I'm trying to talk to doesn't even realize I'm talking to them
3) The first sentence out of my mouth always gets cut off
4) People just don't listen and they're not even worth it
Besides, to them nothing I say is ever important or significant or worth anything so I don't have to waste any energy moving my mouth. Also, I like listening to all the dopes pouring out their minds on me. One way or another, I usually find a way to connect between the stories and maybe found some gossip that I don't have to share with the douches of the world.

Humiliatingly bold

I'll cut to the chase, I just sent a stupid relationship request to my ex through Facebook. It's a stupid move I saw on a TV show called Awkward. If rejects it, then I'll be thinking to myself "so what? I was just goofing around" but if he somehow by heaven's power accepted the request, then I will be speechless.

What I did from a week ago until today

Its not much but kind of interesting - for me, of course!

Every weekday in November until 3rd Dec I practised for my Grade 3 practical piano exam in the school 'cos I don't own a piano. I wouldn't say it was exhausting but frustrating every time I couldn't hit the right note or get out the right expression and playing the same dumb pieces over and over and OVER. During practise just before I went into the examination room, I played just smoothly but I don't know from what force in hell that made me slip and miss a few notes. After that, I was like 'Whatever. I'll fail if I'll fail'. Hopefully, I didn't fail.

On the 29th Nov, I went to see Arine since she came back to Kuching from Sarikei. I was glad I could meet her after these past months but my mood went down when rain poured while I walked to where we were meeting and my mood plummeted when she brought her younger sister whom she detests so much. Since the place we met at was SUPER boring, we decided to go to OneJaya but it rained, again. Instead, I had the pleasure of entering her house and room for the first time in 3 years we've been friends. Like another friend's house I've been to, its a darker contrast to my house; a mess. Interior designs set aside, we talked and gossiped in her room about "unholy" things which revealed to me the Arine I've never known before; an Arine version of Amy.

30th Dec, that day was the ultimate mood wrecker. The activities: watched Breaking Dawn part 2, had a late lunch/early dinner, window shopping. Friends involved: unmentionable. How it went: horrible. Why?: Charlotte ignored me the whole time even though she was the one who invited me to watch a movie, Arine didn't watch it with me just because she wants to hang around with Lorenzo looking for the latest Lady Gaga perfume that won't be out for 6 months. I hate what they did to me; ignoring me like that. I mean, don't they know any manners? What they did was SO inexcusable and if I were my dad, I would've burst out and told how volcanic mad I was. But I'm not my dad so I had to suck it up. I felt like I wanted to scream 'Don't bother inviting me if you're just going to ignore me later' and 'Say no if you don't want to watch it with me, not invite someone else over so you could avoid it' at the two of them. I just can't believe they're so immature and ill-mannered. Until today, I still feel like I want to blow up when I think back about it. But I can't because they're my "best friends".

To clear out my angst, I indulged in romance novels. One was Jane Eyre which is awesome to the max - minus the difficulty in understanding the big words they used. The other book was Vampire Kisses: The Beginning containing the first three books of the series. I admit that Vampire Kisses is nothing like The Twilight Saga or Vampire Diaries or Vampire Academy because it doesn't have that action-thriller touch but a fantasy, goth romantic, humorous and suspenseful feel. I mean, every time there was a super romantic scene I'd giggle and put the book away for a more special time and if there was a climax in the scene I'd resist reading the next part to prepare myself. To put it simply, its a goth teen's novel-version sitcom.

There, the stuff I did and the expressions I had while doing it. 

Language Apps #2 (Korean, Dutch, Japanese & Spanish)

A crazy vid my sister made me watch. A must watch!!! I laughed 'til my stomach hurt and eyes watered....

Experimental 3D nail art

Last night, I bought these 3D nail art materials. It has been so boring painting plain colours but so complicated painting patterns. So, it has come to 3D nail art which is both simple and interesting. 

All you need are:

1. nail polish of your choice

2. transparent nail polish

3. 3D nail stickers and plastic diamond studs (can be found in any accessory store)

an example of 3D nail stickers

normal plastic diamond studs

And here's how:

First, apply nail polish to clean nails and wait to dry. Next, carefully peel nail sticker off plastic and apply to nail according to own creativity. Then, apply a layer of transparent polish. Lastly, carefully and quickly place the plastic diamond stud on nail before the transparent polish dries. 

One of the finished results

Things that happened in November - in bullet list form

• 2nd Nov - went to the Hitz Birthday Invasion and came out sweating and tired like I had ran a marathon in my sleep. I discovered that I liked the local bands like Relent and Daytime Drama but I least liked Arabyrd because she was like an annoying Malaysian version of Nicki Minaj - and I hate Nicki Minaj. Other than that, Greyson Chance's voice started to change which made me not enjoy his perfomance but he still did a really awesome performance of Leila
• 5th Nov - no school but spent the whole day in extra class with Miss Angie to finish our Physics syllabus.
• 7th Nov - broke up with my 2nd ex
• 8th Nov - last day of school and it kind of sucked because I was sort of alone in class without Amy.
• 12th Nov - first day of everyday music class - for practicing purposes. Saw Harrison being reckless when he spotted me on the side of the road by not looking at road while riding a motorcycle. I had an awesome haircut, anyway.
• 14th Nov - "It's complicated" with my 2nd ex
• 19th Nov - celebrated birthday with an all-meat dinner while my left ear goes deaf
• 20th Nov - re-painted nails and applied 3D nail stickers, then "broke up" with 2nd ex

Hitz Kuching Birthday Invasion

The most anticipated event for Hitz.fm listeners and Greyson Chance fans. Excitedly, I'M GOING!!! obviously by Charlotte's invitation. I still can't believe I'll be going to one of the hottest events of the year. Finally, I get to experience going to the most talked about event ever!! Maybe now I won't feel so left out. And I get to wear this cute top I bought last week. ^_^
2nd November, KRIC here I come !!

Early Birthday Gift

I'm actually blogging this at my school computer. I get to use the Internet early for finishing up early.
This morning I had a teddy bear given to me as my early birthday present since my birthday is during the school holiday. FYI, it's not from some romantic admirer. It's from Haizaitul. It's kinda nice that at least one person remembers my birthday. I usually don't get anything - not even last year.
=D She said the gift was doll that looked like me but it was a teddy bear dressed as a lady bug. Come to think of it, I like teddy bear and lady bugs.

Drake and Josh's hug shout ;D

Better than Bieber

Daydreams: The Magic After Reading

Stuff I want to do before I die

It's sounds silly to write such a title but I guess everybody has such list of things to do before they die. Mine seems almost impossible and outrageous, but then I'm blogging this for fun.

1. Join the Miss Malaysia Universe Beauty Pageant (or any beauty pageant, really)
2. Travel around Europe (especially to Italy and Vienna, Austria)
3. Write my own version of a vampire novel
4. Write a teen romance novel based on my own experience
5. Compose a song
6. Own a grand piano (or a baby grand piano, at least)
7. Learn to play the cello
8. Adopt a child
9. Act in a theater drama
10. Have all the series of my favorite books
11. Own a hippie van
12. Own a lot of Gothic dresses
13. Take up archery
14. Go on a cruise
15. Experience true love that never dies

My Complicated On-Off Relationship

Yeah, my relationship can get complicated. I mean, I am dating a sweetheart playboy, so I should be expecting complications.
I did and I wasn't surprised or shocked when he told me he was seeing someone else besides me. It didn't bother me at all. Why should it? We live far apart so it's easy for the other to cheat or whatever. Though, I don't cheat, especially in serious things like relationships.
Even though he cheated (to me it doesn't really count), I didn't care. But it does hurt when he displays it where I can see it, just not so much.
Y'know, it's kind of funny when he tries to break up with me but the break up doesn't last long. Earlier, he did because he was seeing another girl and he thought this relationship couldn't go on long. 20 minutes later, he attempts to call me and text me but to no avail, since I didn't think he wanted to text back. When I called him, I laughed because he said he missed me. I totally expected that. He said he was in a lot of stress and that he was depressed, so he called. Just to say he misses me.
We talked his stress out and we got back together. During the 20 minute break up I thought, I should change my relationship status but I should probably wait until tomorrow to see if he's gonna me call tonight and ask for a return relationship. AND it totally did.
*sigh* I know him too well ;D

Overwhelmed!! T.T

I am close to tears T.T when I looked up online for the latest Vampire Kisses novel. It so happens that the latest installment is the last installment of the series. I am close to breaking because I don't have it and the other previous titles I don't have. Maybe I should ask my dad for his credit card so I could get it online. Or maybe my mom, since she buys her books online. I am also desperate for the manga version titled Blood Relatives
Aside from my vampire fantasy books, I also want the werewolf fantasy novels : Once in a Full Moon, Magic of the Moonlight and Full Moon Kisses. I am in desperate need of these because I am so bored out with other things and other books. Also because I will cry in my sleep with the haunting thoughts if these books' absence in my shelf.
For my 16th birthday, all I want are these books!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Dinner =P

I was bored and alone and hungry so I made my own dinner. It's actually a fish and chips garnished with garlic and scrambled eggs and mayonnaise on the side. I know, it's weird for me to eat at night since fish and chips is breakfast food. Well, I only know how to cook breakfast. It's good but I regret putting garlic XP 

PKBM (U) camping in Kelantan

Exhaustion, disorientation and soreness runs my entire body 24 hrs after my arrival here from Kelantan. The work and acivities during camping was somewhat brutal and tiring but exhilarating and - unexpectedly - enjoyable, despite the punishments doing squats and jumps and push ups. I kind of blame one of the officers who was a racist and an excessive, optimist with his religion. Inconsiderate ass.
The fun activities that enjoyed and endured were the flying fox, jalan lasak, shooting and a trip to the Gong Kedak Air Base. My favorite was going shooting. It was adrenalin pumping and terrifying. Jalan lasak was a bit tiring for me since I had sores, cramps and disturbed emotions during the event. I mean, I know I'm slow but stop cursing and ordering me around because in the end, you guys were the one's left behind and had to ride in the ambulance. Not me.
In the case of social events, I wasn't very social with them during the time for socializing. Though, I enjoyed the company of a few guys from Penang who were nice to me. I liked talking to one of them called Mohd Azraf. He looked like a smoker and a drug addict but he's actually a sweetheart. On our last day there, they all said goodbye to me as if I was a celebrity. I was upset that I didn't know most of their names while they knew mine. It makes me fluttery thinking that I have a "fan club".
All in all, the whole trip made me rethink about PLKN and made a little bit more confident and endurant.

It gets funny in the end XD

Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

Out Skating

Just went out roller skating with Arine, her sister Anna and Lorenzo. It wasn't A-W-E-S-O-M-E but enjoyable and exhilarating. I didn't have fun much skating around but tons of fun teaching them to skate. I love it. I looked like their older sister. The whole atmosphere made me feel alive and liberated. We laughed all they way each of us fell in attempt to skate and rolling out of control. The most fun was that warm feeling I had spending time with Arine. With her, I didn't feel lonesome anymore.

Petty Excitement

Today wasn't much of an excitement. Just two more days until this exam blows. The only "excitement" I got was a really long look at Harrison. The moment blew my mind, burst my heart and melted my soul.
I saw him while I was sitting at the back during perhimpunan and the Lower Form 6 were right outside doing some sort of landscaping work. I saw him more clearly when he sat right outside the dewan right next to the place where I sat in the dewan. I was all fluttery and giggly ^.^ I noticed he's not as chubby as the last time I saw him, but more...husky. Gosh! He was wearing that shirt he wanted to give me. I wish I'd took it.
As much as I want him to notice me, I keep hiding away from him.

exam...ALMOST OVER!!!!

At last!! Only three more days until the end of the Semester exam and three days until the start of two weeks school break. The suffering of two weeks of exam will end. But, honestly, it feels like it had only been a weekend. I seriously don't remember taking any of those tests and I don't really feel like studying for the next upcoming tests. Anyway, I don't have much planned for the school break but Arine wants to hang out back in Kuching. I'm thinking of going roller skating. But also a movie... Hmm, who should I bring? Don't know yet. Then again, I don't have a lot of money left. Suddenly, everything sucks.
OMG...! I haven't seen Arine since February. I feel all jittery and anxious now.