Unsatisfied

as if there was a time when humans are ever fully satisfied. satisfaction in life is never enough. they say love is enough but for me, it's not. other things like friends are worth more than that; it keeps me from feeling lonely. the problem of having a relationship is that we always, especially women, have the need to be with that someone until we forget everything else. sometimes, we would suffer for them.

in my situation, i feel like i want to shoot him in the head or push him in front of a moving car or even beat him to a pulp. if he doesn't like the way i think, then it's his problem for choosing a violent and emo partner. besides, he has his own flaws; cry baby. and that's even worse to put up with. he's lucky he has baby face when he cries.
 i hate it when i'm upset and he becomes more upset. and when i sulk, he cries. wtf?!?! you're suppose to comfort me for goodness sake, not the other way 'round. sometimes, i can't really handle any more of this and i just want to break up. but whenever he finds out, he threatens to kill himself or say i will never see him again. in my head i was like, don't be such a dumbass! all i want is to just forget this feeling, not erase you from my life.
if he ever threatens me again, he better be ready for a hand slap and a blow to the gut. i can't promise it won't happen. i just can't take the threats, the blame, the guilt and all the sympathy i've given him. i wish he would stop all his crap and tell me what's wrong! for me to be able to help him, he needs to tell me and not shut himself out.
I worry about him every second i'm awake 'til i get terrible headaches.