Thoughts...

Ever since my brain was released into the reality of the world, I've always been cautious about everyone's view of me; how I dress, how I acted and how I treated people. I didn't realize I struggled trying to fit in with other kids since I was in kindergarten. I always thought, People are just people but most important is there was me in this world. My parents never really taught any value of friendship, just gave advices I couldn't understand. Mostly advices about things that only matters to them most.
However, the effect of their upbringing of me was not "perfect". I actually came to be a wild, bitter, rude and psychopathic girl because of the way they raised me. They teach me useful things, yes but not much about values. They tell me straight to the point about these "values" which made it hard for me to understand. But mostly, they connect things to money issue. Money this, money that. They act as if they can't afford anything in their life.
News flash! My mom spends about hundreds on my brother's dyslexia tuition fee which didn't do as much good and other times she would spend on slimming product and services. My dad is another asshole. He likes his material items more than his family. He changed his car 4 times and ended up with a 22 year old Pajero that sucks. Sometimes, I'd see he would spend on hunting knives even when he doesn't hunt at all. He even tried to buy a RM200 police baton after he said we couldn't get any food because he doesn't have money.
Goddamit, if you guys never really liked each other and things didn't work out why the HELL did you even get married?!?!  I always asked myself this and wished I was born in another family. Instead, I try to raise myself in aspects of life values. So now, this who I am.