I feel..SO frustrated! I mean, these past few months has been all about him. I can't get him out of my head! At first, it was nice to always think about him because he happened to be "the love of my life" but now, he's like a pest constantly floating in my head. I have a huge guilt, y'know. Like when I tell him about something that makes me upset, he's the one who gets extra upset and respond as if I was the bad guy! C'mon man, you're suppose to comfort me!! Not me comfort you!
I really feel like I just want to cry and scream at him. I'm actually crying right now :'( Whenever I'm near him, I just want to CRY! I want to cry because all this time, it's as if I'm forbidden to cry in front of him. I'm always afraid that he will upset me more because I always know that he will find a way to just put some blame on me. He just doesn't realise he's making me more upset.
It's really hard to try and talk to him. I don't think we've had a real conversation in a while. He doesn't talk to me like he used to. I missed those times, and now...it's all gone. Everything is GONE...even the love I've had for him. It hurts me when I had to tell him 'I love You' when I'm really crying my tears out saying those three little words.
PS I cried my heart out typing this. I hope you'rereading, Harrison :(
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