Early Birthday Gift

I'm actually blogging this at my school computer. I get to use the Internet early for finishing up early.
This morning I had a teddy bear given to me as my early birthday present since my birthday is during the school holiday. FYI, it's not from some romantic admirer. It's from Haizaitul. It's kinda nice that at least one person remembers my birthday. I usually don't get anything - not even last year.
=D She said the gift was doll that looked like me but it was a teddy bear dressed as a lady bug. Come to think of it, I like teddy bear and lady bugs.

On-Again-Off-Again Relationship

Me: What's a girl to do when she's stuck in a bottomless pit of a recurring relationship?
Mind: ...I don't know...
Heart: First, do you love him? And does he love you?
Conscience: (missing)

Drake and Josh's hug shout ;D

Better than Bieber

Daydreams: The Magic After Reading

Cruel Evil Joy

My euphoria didn't last until today but it was satisfying.
I had news from Amy about Harrison four days ago. I didn't want to hear about him at all because I just want to get over the thoughts of him. But, I perked up when Amy mentioned about his failed relationships after me. I was like "OH YEEAAAHHHH!!!!", then let out a long sigh. I was filled wit cruel happiness and relief at the same time. Cruel happy because the bad side of me was happy that his relationships after me didn't last long and weren't based on genuine feelings. Relief because the grief and depression weighing on my shoulders were finally lifted knowing that he couldn't have his perfect relationship.
*being evil*
I heard the girl he dated after me made him a scandal. She was actually dating someone else (someone Harrison knew) before she dated him. I think she got tired of him so she broke up with him without him or the other guy knowing about the scandal. *MHHUUUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA*

Stuff I want to do before I die

It's sounds silly to write such a title but I guess everybody has such list of things to do before they die. Mine seems almost impossible and outrageous, but then I'm blogging this for fun.

1. Join the Miss Malaysia Universe Beauty Pageant (or any beauty pageant, really)
2. Travel around Europe (especially to Italy and Vienna, Austria)
3. Write my own version of a vampire novel
4. Write a teen romance novel based on my own experience
5. Compose a song
6. Own a grand piano (or a baby grand piano, at least)
7. Learn to play the cello
8. Adopt a child
9. Act in a theater drama
10. Have all the series of my favorite books
11. Own a hippie van
12. Own a lot of Gothic dresses
13. Take up archery
14. Go on a cruise
15. Experience true love that never dies

Merdeka Day!!

Today is the most patriotic day of all days - except Malaysia Day, of course. BTW, there's a difference between the two. I sense this year isn't as joyous as the years before. It's almost like Merdeka Day is non-existent. No banners, no parades, no news, nothing.
However, the opening ceremony for Merdeka Day in school was pretty awesome. I mean, I cried when I watch the video recorded on Merdeka Day 55 years ago. I guess I had a  secret realization of how grateful I was being born in a more peaceful time where I don't have to cower before stepping outside my house or witness someone being shot dead just because he didn't listen orders by British soldiers or move around the whole country because my dad'sin the army.
I'm really blessed to have the privilege my parents didn't have all those years ago. The examples I'd given, it all happened to my parents. Though, it would be cool to experience just a little bit of those.

I Still Think About You (Dumb*ss)

It's been months since we broke up and weeks since I last saw you. I really wished you never existed because then, I wouldn't be suffering with your broken promises and false memories. But for you to stop existing, you'd have to die and I don't want you to be dead. So now, I dwell in regrets that I ever told you to continue Form 6 because I Hate You more, now. I can't express in words how much I loathe you and no actions can describe how much hurt you left inside me when you didn't keep your promises to me while I still kept my promises to you. I hate you Harrison Linang!!!!

Home Alone Teen

It's kinda boring when you're alone. And silent. I kind of prefer to be alone but there's no drive to do anything. I mean, I'm used to be asked to do something and I'm always kept busy. Right now, I still keep myself busy without the stupid stress from my mom and sister but it just feels like nothing was done.

It feels weird that my mom lets me stay at home alone. Unlike last year where she insisted my grandma come and babysit me. It still makes me pissed thinking about it.

Though, this year, she starts leaving me alone at home while she indulges herself with her damned new house. Ordinarily, I am this house's and pet's babysitter and cleaner while the rest of my family are away.I don't complain about being alone. I just don't like that my mom never tells me anything and just walks out on me. Everyone around me are like that. And it makes me so pissed sometimes. They always say I don't know anything but how am I supposed to know anything when no one tells me anything.

Well, I'm going back to doing something that feels like doing nothing.