Cut Off and Ignored

Maybe it has been going on my whole life and I just didn't notice it before.
Thereare reasons why I don't talk.
1) Whatever that comes out of my mouth nothing good ever comes of it
2) The person I'm trying to talk to doesn't even realize I'm talking to them
3) The first sentence out of my mouth always gets cut off
4) People just don't listen and they're not even worth it
Besides, to them nothing I say is ever important or significant or worth anything so I don't have to waste any energy moving my mouth. Also, I like listening to all the dopes pouring out their minds on me. One way or another, I usually find a way to connect between the stories and maybe found some gossip that I don't have to share with the douches of the world.

What I did from a week ago until today

Its not much but kind of interesting - for me, of course!

Every weekday in November until 3rd Dec I practised for my Grade 3 practical piano exam in the school 'cos I don't own a piano. I wouldn't say it was exhausting but frustrating every time I couldn't hit the right note or get out the right expression and playing the same dumb pieces over and over and OVER. During practise just before I went into the examination room, I played just smoothly but I don't know from what force in hell that made me slip and miss a few notes. After that, I was like 'Whatever. I'll fail if I'll fail'. Hopefully, I didn't fail.

On the 29th Nov, I went to see Arine since she came back to Kuching from Sarikei. I was glad I could meet her after these past months but my mood went down when rain poured while I walked to where we were meeting and my mood plummeted when she brought her younger sister whom she detests so much. Since the place we met at was SUPER boring, we decided to go to OneJaya but it rained, again. Instead, I had the pleasure of entering her house and room for the first time in 3 years we've been friends. Like another friend's house I've been to, its a darker contrast to my house; a mess. Interior designs set aside, we talked and gossiped in her room about "unholy" things which revealed to me the Arine I've never known before; an Arine version of Amy.

30th Dec, that day was the ultimate mood wrecker. The activities: watched Breaking Dawn part 2, had a late lunch/early dinner, window shopping. Friends involved: unmentionable. How it went: horrible. Why?: Charlotte ignored me the whole time even though she was the one who invited me to watch a movie, Arine didn't watch it with me just because she wants to hang around with Lorenzo looking for the latest Lady Gaga perfume that won't be out for 6 months. I hate what they did to me; ignoring me like that. I mean, don't they know any manners? What they did was SO inexcusable and if I were my dad, I would've burst out and told how volcanic mad I was. But I'm not my dad so I had to suck it up. I felt like I wanted to scream 'Don't bother inviting me if you're just going to ignore me later' and 'Say no if you don't want to watch it with me, not invite someone else over so you could avoid it' at the two of them. I just can't believe they're so immature and ill-mannered. Until today, I still feel like I want to blow up when I think back about it. But I can't because they're my "best friends".

To clear out my angst, I indulged in romance novels. One was Jane Eyre which is awesome to the max - minus the difficulty in understanding the big words they used. The other book was Vampire Kisses: The Beginning containing the first three books of the series. I admit that Vampire Kisses is nothing like The Twilight Saga or Vampire Diaries or Vampire Academy because it doesn't have that action-thriller touch but a fantasy, goth romantic, humorous and suspenseful feel. I mean, every time there was a super romantic scene I'd giggle and put the book away for a more special time and if there was a climax in the scene I'd resist reading the next part to prepare myself. To put it simply, its a goth teen's novel-version sitcom.

There, the stuff I did and the expressions I had while doing it. 

Romance in Novels, Romance in Movies and Romance in Reality

The big difference between love and romance:-

• Love - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
• Romance - a love affair, especially an intense and happy but short-lived affair involving young people; traditionally, a literary work depicting heroic deeds (in short, similar to a story of knights rescuing princesses)

But which would you prefer, love or romance? Obviously, love in real life and romance in fictional stories.

Alas, I can feel no genuine affection for anyone nor I believe that anyone would possess true affections towards me. Thus, I indulge myself in romantic movies and novels whose heroes and heroines find their true love in short of a time and the story line going accordingly to satisfy the readers' and viewers' expectations, unlike reality where nothing goes accordingly and carries no guarantee of sweet happy endings but bitter ends.

Isolated from romantic affections and depressed because of it for so long a time, I've finally regained some romantic fantasies - excluding illicit desires - from a classic novel (Jane Eyre) about a plain young woman who fell in love with and loved in return by her stern, harsh employer. Another novel (Vampire Kisses), a modern work quite humorous despite the heroine being of vampiric and Gothic nature. In the first book, she is a much ostracized teenager because of her looks but finds true love in another much ignored soul of her own kind. Sadly, at the end of the book, he leaves abruptly without an explanation - except a note written with 'Because I love you'.

In both books, never once did I not cry when the memories of my rejection and dejection were brought up by the similarities of the story and mine.

Hitz Kuching Birthday Invasion

The most anticipated event for Hitz.fm listeners and Greyson Chance fans. Excitedly, I'M GOING!!! obviously by Charlotte's invitation. I still can't believe I'll be going to one of the hottest events of the year. Finally, I get to experience going to the most talked about event ever!! Maybe now I won't feel so left out. And I get to wear this cute top I bought last week. ^_^
2nd November, KRIC here I come !!