I feel like a cheap whore

"Runaway Boyfriend" Dilemma

*It's not my boyfriend and this guy didn't really runaway.
~sigh~ I came to school yesterday morning anxiously waiting for a friend of mine to get some "relationship advice". I was so stupid I didn't consider her feelings at the time, I burst out my question to her. At that moment, I sensed some disturbance in her. Then, I saw tears in her eyes. I felt so insensitive and stupid as soon as I guessed what her problem was about.
As soon as she gathered her strength, she told me that her boyfriend "ran way". The appropriate situation would be "moved further away". But that's not it. She's fine with him moving further away to get a better job  but what she doesn't like is that he went further away without telling her and left his phone with his friends. It's bad enough that they live far apart, they only meet once a month and her mum despising him. He doesn't have to go away without telling or leaving her hanging on where their relationship stands. He doesn't even have to cut off any contact with her just so her mum wouldn't know anything.
I swear, guys are impossible to understand.

An old Facebook note to my ex titled "From Me To You with Love" (2011)

You say there's no one else, you say I'm the only one. But tell me this. Tell me why do you cry over her? You say your heart is for me but it seems that it's still for her. I know you want to forget because she broke your heart but know this; you can tell me all about it. Don't hold back just because people say you're like a brat when you cry. I'm not like those people, I'm your girlfriend; the girl you've always called the love of your life. Hell, you can tell me anything and I still won't judge you. I could never want to let you go 'cos your heart is one in a billion. You are like the guy I've dreamt and always imagined of. You are my fantasy, the fantasy that I always wanted to come true. The fantasy that I can feel my soul just thinking about.

You move my soul, enlighten my life and changed me for the better. I want to do the same but you have to let me. I can't do it if you always shut your real self from me. Just so you know, I could never understand you because you don't tell me much about yourself. I can't stand not knowing and not understand you. You make me cry by just being happy because I feel happy when I cry. Especially when I'm crying for you =') I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved any other guy. Because Baby you loved me back. Wether you knew it or not, I loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. But you were still with her that time and I never knew anything more than your face and name.

Baby, please forget her. If you want my help forgetting her then tell me everything. The only way you can forget someone is talking about it until there's nothing. I don't want you to keep that bad feeling inside. You wanna hurt someone for it, hurt me. I don't care 'cos all I want is for you to be happy even if it means to hurt me. And hey baby, I think I wanna marry you..hehe =D

Early Birthday Gift

I'm actually blogging this at my school computer. I get to use the Internet early for finishing up early.
This morning I had a teddy bear given to me as my early birthday present since my birthday is during the school holiday. FYI, it's not from some romantic admirer. It's from Haizaitul. It's kinda nice that at least one person remembers my birthday. I usually don't get anything - not even last year.
=D She said the gift was doll that looked like me but it was a teddy bear dressed as a lady bug. Come to think of it, I like teddy bear and lady bugs.

On-Again-Off-Again Relationship

Me: What's a girl to do when she's stuck in a bottomless pit of a recurring relationship?
Mind: ...I don't know...
Heart: First, do you love him? And does he love you?
Conscience: (missing)

Drake and Josh's hug shout ;D

Better than Bieber

Daydreams: The Magic After Reading

Cruel Evil Joy

My euphoria didn't last until today but it was satisfying.
I had news from Amy about Harrison four days ago. I didn't want to hear about him at all because I just want to get over the thoughts of him. But, I perked up when Amy mentioned about his failed relationships after me. I was like "OH YEEAAAHHHH!!!!", then let out a long sigh. I was filled wit cruel happiness and relief at the same time. Cruel happy because the bad side of me was happy that his relationships after me didn't last long and weren't based on genuine feelings. Relief because the grief and depression weighing on my shoulders were finally lifted knowing that he couldn't have his perfect relationship.
*being evil*
I heard the girl he dated after me made him a scandal. She was actually dating someone else (someone Harrison knew) before she dated him. I think she got tired of him so she broke up with him without him or the other guy knowing about the scandal. *MHHUUUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA*

Stuff I want to do before I die

It's sounds silly to write such a title but I guess everybody has such list of things to do before they die. Mine seems almost impossible and outrageous, but then I'm blogging this for fun.

1. Join the Miss Malaysia Universe Beauty Pageant (or any beauty pageant, really)
2. Travel around Europe (especially to Italy and Vienna, Austria)
3. Write my own version of a vampire novel
4. Write a teen romance novel based on my own experience
5. Compose a song
6. Own a grand piano (or a baby grand piano, at least)
7. Learn to play the cello
8. Adopt a child
9. Act in a theater drama
10. Have all the series of my favorite books
11. Own a hippie van
12. Own a lot of Gothic dresses
13. Take up archery
14. Go on a cruise
15. Experience true love that never dies